Therapeutic Thursday…An Army Spouse’s Point of View and Feelings About Living with PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury

I am so angry all the time, do you ever stop being so damned angry?

“Uncle Sam Mistress” writes, Dear Anonymous, I am angry every day. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t angry about something. I think it’s a very healthy and normal reaction to feel in our situations. I am angry about the fact I lost my husband and this person came home and lost all his fight.

I am sometimes angry because this strong, rock of my husband wasn’t mentally strong enough to fight whatever was going on in his head while overseas. I am angry everything fell in my lap, angry I am now a single parent with no help, angry that we are watching every penny because he just about broke us, and more angry that I have no one to talk to, share or be around that knows what I am going through.

I am angry with my family, his family for not supporting or understanding. Angry at the military and the VA for not doing right by our Veterans. Some days I just wake up pissed off and not sure why or at who. I have become so bitter and one big walking ball of anger that I don’t recognize myself anymore.

I think it’s normal for us caregivers to be angry, and although ashamed of myself for being so angry and resentful, I can’t help it. If it was me, find someone to talk to. Whether it be a therapist, psychiatrist, someone. I don’t have those options here, but if I could…all you would see is ass and elbows running out the door to blab it all to someone who could analyze it and make me feel better. I need that time to vent.